What do you mean by: ‘Detached Attachment’?

What do you mean by: ‘Detached Attachment’?

To a normal thought process, each of us is either attached or detached. Both states in within their pure meaning are fine.

But we are humans. We have corrupted everything in within our reach. We have corrupted these pure states too.

We either love some person/ object/ relation/ passion to a degree of obsessive attachment. OR. We become so aloof/ detached/ averse/ uncaring that it almost borders on neglect or hate.

These are extremes of emotion. Extremes of anything is bad. Moderation is the key word to a stable, calm and composed life. Moderation is the key to the journey of the Soul.

Yama – Niyama…… Why do I go on repeating the Law of the Do and Don’t ? Because a rigid law of what is good and what is bad is the key to building the character. What is your worth or even self worth without a good character?

If you enter the armed forces, they make you exercise, revise, exercise, revise, exercise, revise…. So that when the opportunity arises, the mind isn’t allowed to think… it reacts as it is trained to….. Yama-Niyama is the same rigid training of the character.

We should love our family, our friends, our social circle. But some of us become so obsessed with this relation that it becomes a chain around our heart. The smallest adverse reaction by these people, not expected by us, and we feel hurt. We feel slighted. Or we get an unexpected compliment/ hug/ gift from a loved one, we start mooning like a puppy. We like our drink and good food, but we become so obsessed with it, that on the rare occasion when we don’t get our desired food, we feel depressed. We love a car and wish to own it. After a while it becomes such an obsession that we start feeling unhappy in our present car. We become so obsessesed with the love of our girl friend that if due to any reason we have to separate, our world shatters. We become so obsessed with our teenage love that we act like lovelorn puppies. We become so obsessed about the pair of jeans we saw in the store yesterday, that we think about it every moment till we can go and buy it……. Really?  You going crazy over a pair of jeans? Or a Car? Or a puppy? Or a lover? What about your love for yourself?…….. Or your commitment to yourself? …. Moderation is the key word.

Or take the other extreme. Detachment. You have a life, a wife, a family, parents, your duties (which you bloody took on voluntarily). But when the bug of religion / detachment strikes you, you start talking about leaving everything, going to the mountains or an ashram, doing meditation all day long. Good idea all by itself, but who shall take care of all the responsibilities that you took on your shoulder? Who shall take care of that early marriage you did because your loins were aching? Or when a loved one or relation starts to withdraw from us (due to any reason…. don’t judge) we also allow our Ego to raise its head and we too withdraw. When a loved one seperates/ leaves/ dies we act as if life should stop and play violins for our grief. When our car is scratched, we act as if someone’s life was scratched. When a job is lost we act as if our world has ended. We live in a manner as if we are so attached to each other, that the other person’s life will stop if we die.

These are extreme emotions. These lead to instability of your Soul. These lead to extreme upheavals in your mind. And the Mind monkey starts prancing again.

So learn “Detached Attachment”.

Be calm and serene in your nature. Be stable in your actions . Be reserved in your reaction. Be happy for that moment and in that moment. Do not go on pulling that happiness or the moment like a chewing gum . Do not over reach in your happiness or grief. It is the law of nature and life that people come and people go. It is also the fact of life that people forget their grief in a little while. Be happy in that moment of pure joy, enjoy it to the fullest. Forget it tomorrow. Grieve in the moment. Learn to move on tomorrow. It is the law of nature that everything in your posession goes through wear and tear.

Because in the end, all of us are just bones, blood, piss and excreta in a bag of skin and hair. Do not become too attached to this body of yours or to the body of your lover.

Again, do not misinterpret my words.

I am asking you to live more fully. But IN the moment. I am asking you not to dream in the future or wallow in the past. Live this moment as it should be, and then let that moment pass.

If there is anything to be attached, it is the Soul, the One. If you want to show attachment, show it for the One. Love it with so much intensity, the same intensity with which you pine for the embrace of your lover.

IF you love the Soul with that passion, it has to but reveal itself to you.   

The promise of the Soul Healer.